I'm not even gonna mess around today. This remote I saw on Amazon.com on Black Friday demands your attention. It is the Logitech Harmony 900 Rechargeable Remote with Color Touch Screen. It is $399.99, currently on sale for something like a hundred dollars short of ridiculous. But it's still ridiculous. I think my tech-loving soul bits shriveled up and died a little bit when I saw this thing. Why in god's name would anybody need this. A TOUCH SCREEN? On your remote control? It's not even a remote-controlled car. It's just a remote control. That thing that you flip through channels with at 3 AM while bawling your eyes out and eating slices of colby jack cheese because it's the closest thing to ice cream in the house. That thing that's lost more often than Oceanic 815.
Since I didn't really want to waste my life reading the lengthy product description, here's what I got from skimming it. It has a touch screen. Does this mean I can play Angry Birds? Or Doodle Jump? If not, it's not worth $400. Apparently the big selling point for this thing as that you can point it at cabinets, where electronic devices are cleverly hidden, and use them without revealing those ugly aforementioned electronic devices to the world. I haven't been in any house recently that has all of their electronics hidden in cabinets. Then again I don't exactly run around with the kind of crowd who can afford a $400 remote control. A lot of people actually like to have their gadgets out, because generally the more crap you have around your TV, the cooler you are. I don't want to hide any of my awesome gadgets. The only cool thing about this is that it's rechargeable, but how often do you really replace the batteries in your remote anyway? I really don't even know what to think about this thing. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks they need it. As my friend Will said on Twitter: "That remote better have sex with me, then pick out new clothes for me to wear for the week." I think it should also build me an exact replica of the Hagia Sophia out of pure white chocolate and make all the arrangements for it to become my new house, but maybe that's asking too much.
I also bought a DSi. Because it's orange. And orange is my favorite color, dammit. And Golden Sun: Dark Dawn comes out tomorrow, but I'm too poor to get it. And I don't really have anything else to say for now, because I'm currently obsessed with watching the Cyber Monday deals on Amazon. But there will be more geekiness next time of course.