Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Too Late for Father's Day


You've really got to be kidding me. I just happened upon a story about this...razor. This $100,000 razor. This limited edition, only 99 made...razor. My bafflement is beyond me. Of all possible things. Of all things to use iridium for. A metal so rare that it's usually only found in meteorites that crashed to earth. And...all of this two days after Father's Day. What a bummer.


Who at Zafirro, the creator of this thing, thought of making a razor. I want to be a fly on the wall in that board meeting:




Super Executive #1: Ok. So we have this iridium. And we have some synthetic sapphire to use as well. What can we make with this?


Super Executive #2: *instantly, with no hesitation whatsoever* A razor.


*Everyone starts to cheer. Super Executive #2 has just put forth the most brilliant idea of the century*


Intern: Erm...couldn't we, I don't know, do something useful with the iridium? It IS really durable and...


*Executives stop congratulating each other and turn to stare*


Super Executive #1: I'm sick of this Gillette razor cutting me and breaking every two years. And Gillette is a gay name anyway.


Intern: But this is something that'll potentially be worth thousands of dollars. You can't possibly--


Super Executive #2: Oh yes, yes we can. Super Executive #1, start drawing up some plans. We've got ourselves a mega-razor to create.



I want this to be a joke. As much as I want to quote the entire description for its absolute ridiculousness, (you can do so here if you really want) I give you this one sentence which made me absolutely lose it: "The resulting combination of exotic materials pushes the boundaries of technology while creating an aesthetic that could be the centerpiece of a gallery collection." A gallery collection. The most innovative razor in the entire world, that you paid $100,000 for, and you're just going to sit it in a glass box to look at. What a wonderful way to utilize all of that money you have.


Also sickening is the fact that, according to them, "One of the primary uses of iridium has been rocket engine components because of its extreme durability." Well I'm glad it's not being used for ROCKET ENGINE components anymore. THAT was certainly a useless endeavor.


But here is my brilliant idea for iridium. Apparently it will withstand the heat if dropped into a volcano. So, let's make a few Rings of Power and play Lord of the Rings. I get the One Ring because I came up with the idea. A much better idea if you ask me.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sunday is the Worst Day of the Week

I came to this conclusion the other day. Saturday isn't so great either, because you know the next day is Sunday. I would love to not think this way, because it's the freaking weekend* and almost as soon as the work week is over on Friday, I'm already dreading Monday. That's not really a great way to live, but Sunday just sucks so damn bad. Most of it stems from knowing there's five days of waking up at 5:30 AM ahead of me, instead of sleeping in til 8. I love how getting up at 8 is "sleeping in" now. It used to be noon. Ah, those were the days.

Maybe when I finally get a hang of this job I can stop dreading the week. I'm so afraid I'll make awful mistakes, because I actually have a decently important gaggle of tasks that could throw things off for entire departments. And I know I can do everything. I'm just still in the "unbelievable masses of information sorting itself out in my brain" phase. But that's ok. I'm a quick learner, and I have Dave Grohl's happy face to get me through the tough spots.

 

*...baby I'ma bout ta have me some funnn

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Nintendo Streetpass Event in Pittsburgh, and Caturday

As always, a little note before I launch into Caturday. Tomorrow is the release of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on the 3DS. Words cannot even describe. However, this isn't about me. What this is about is if you happen to be a Pittsburgh native and need something to do tomorrow. Gamestop in Robinson, the one across from IKEA, is having a 3DS Streetpass event at 1 PM. There's a big Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament, giveaways, free food and drinks, and most importantly, a chance to get some more Streetpass tags so you can get puzzle pieces and hats in the little minigame. I'll be there at some point. I'll be the one whooping with excitement and doing cartwheels in the parking lot.

So I have a trend recently with wanting to save the cats who need to be alone. Like Midnight on the last Caturday. The ones who want to be the only one in their owner's life and just cannot stand sharing the love. This poor girl is Ella, which is an awesome name for a cat, and she's about four years old. She was the princess of her house when her owner's brought a new male cat into the house, and this really seemed to upset her. It must have been really difficult to be abandoned when you were the one who was there the whole time. I don't think I could have done that. It would have felt like I was betraying her. But apparently she's a really affectionate little thing once you gain her trust, and she adores being brushed. I love the look on her face in this picture too. "Catnip? Is that what I smell? CATNIP?!" If you'd like to visit her or get some more information, she's at my favorite shelter, Animal Friends. Their number is (412) 847-7000, and all you have to do is reference Ella's ID number, A005578, and she could be the new pampered princess of your home!

I really do love Ella as a kitty name. Mine is named Sophie, so those are some serious princess names. Too bad Ella wants to be the only kitty of the house, or they'd probably be quite the pair. I really lucked out with Sophie. She gets along with every animal she meets. Someone brings their dog over to visit, she checks them out for a bit and then it's like they've known each other forever. It's pretty cute actually. Speaking of cute, I'm gonna go find her and rub her fuzzy belly and then go to bed. She's like a wishing troll. A wishing troll that chews on your arm while you rub its belly. And then after it's sufficiently slobbered all over you, it goes off into the night to hunt down stink bugs. That's one awesome wishing troll.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Geeking Out My Cube, Volume One

I decided to forego the TACO post this week in anticipation of a good amount of geeky cubicle shopping first thing Saturday morning. Having joined the world of people working in tetris-style blocks of offices all organized just so, it's pretty clear that I need to become "that guy," or girl in this case. That person with all the geeky shit all over their cubicle and the amazing daily desk calendar that requires everyone to know what it says every morning. There's a mild geek who has a photo of gigantic cheese wheels on his wall, plus a little bowl with some sort of tiny shrimp thing in it, but nobody with pixel flowers in a pixel pot, a robot plant that bobs in the sunlight, or an Aperture Science mug. Or a flattering image of Dave Grohl as a pig-tailed girl. Because that is the exact picture that I'm going to print and put right on the top of my monitor, just for smiles.

1.


8-Bit Flower Bouquet - $14.99 at ThinkGeek



 



2.


Flip Flop Solar Plant - $7.99 at ThinkGeek



3.


This face when I'm feeling down - Priceless


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Hold Me if I'm Dying...and Vice Versa, Ok?

I completely forgot about the TACO post this week. To my credit, I worked one job from 7 AM to noon, then another from 1:30 til 9:30, so my brain had the awareness of an egg full of silly putty that day. Although I did that routine several times this week, so maybe my brain has the awareness of...moon sand. Or gak. Gak was great.

Anyway, I'm in love with this guy. I laughed so hard every time I watched these. Which was a lot. Most of the past week was spent obsessed with the face acting videos, but then my friend introduced me to the website in number three. Then it was all over for me. I proceeded to get nothing done at all.

1.


"I like girls, but now...it's about justice."




2.


"I'll throw you into the sea after I get you!"




3.


Damn you, autocorrect!