Sunday, March 18, 2012

Impulsive iPad-Hunting

Obviously you know what this is about already, but I like to tell really long stories, so you'll just have to suffer through. This weekend started off really well and only snowballed from there. My Pittsburgh Penguins extended their win streak to 11 yesterday. I terrified my cat on more than one occasion by leaping out of my chair in elation. I ignored all of the St. Patrick's Day reveling because I despise it*, but that's an entirely separate story that, to be completely honest, I will never tell you, and you probably don't care about it anyway.

I was refreshing my iPad order status page every half hour, as I've been doing for about a week now. Since I waited entirely too long to order it, the ship date read "April 3," which was unacceptable on all sorts of levels. But what could I do? I could get it at an Apple store or something, but they'd all be sold out. Right? RIGHT?!

Wrong, apparently. I found this shady website that tells me possible stock levels of the new iPad at local Targets. Don't ask me how I find these things, because I literally have no clue whatsoever. I'm like an internet bloodhound. I'm a drug-sniffing K-9 unit, and this shoddy website advertising iPad stock levels was like a big bag of cocaine.

Anyway. I don't know what came over me. I suddenly saw a clear path to my destiny. My destiny being the local Target, where there may or may not have been a 32gb white iPad waiting for me. My order from Apple could still be canceled. So I got up and went to Target. I was fully prepared to be let down. I mean maybe not fully; I still had a whole lot of hope that the world would not lead me astray.

I should've taken a picture of what I saw when I got to the aisle with the iPads and e-readers and whatnot. They were locked in a glass case of course. But there were three iPads directly over the price tag for the 16gb white, which I didn't want, and three iPads directly over the price tag for the 64gb white, which I also didn't want. Nothing over the 32gb. Undeterred, I approached one of the electronics department employees, a skinny kid with long hair that he had to continually toss out of his face. It was actually distracting, even in my hyper-focused state. I wanted to brush it. It looked tangly. And give him a damn hair tie.

So he opens the glass case and shifts through the other iPads nearby, just incase somebody pushed it into the wrong spot or some stupid shit. Honestly put the iPads where they belong, don't be giving poor twenty-something girls heart attacks by making it appear that you're out of stock. Anyway, he pulled one of the iPads out after looking through them and scanned it with his little scanner thingamajig and said "Yep, this is it. Very last one."

I spent the entire 15 minute drive home trying my damnedest not to actually throw up from excitement, and also attempting not to push the speed limit. You see, the last time I've been that excited driving home from any purchase was when I got the seventh Harry Potter book at midnight, after which I got pulled over for going 80, laughed at by the cop as I bawled my eyes out and clutched my book, and sent on my merry way with barely even a warning. I just wanted to read, officer. I JUST WANTED TO READ.



Unboxing was, of course, weirdly enjoyable as always. It's these little things that make Apple's products so great overall. Then I spent the rest of the night setting up and restoring from my old iPad. Then I fell asleep in a gadget-happy coma, with visions of retina-display icons dancing in my head. MERRY APPLE TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD IPAD.


* Yes I realize my shirt is green in that picture. I didn't do it on purpose and didn't realize until I was already in the car. I give no shits whatsoever.

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