Saturday, July 14, 2012

Vintage Star Wars Awesomeness at Mom's House

I've known that she had this somewhere for awhile now. She bought it for my dad, for $10, in the early '80's. She showed this to me years and years ago, probably around the same time she showed me the album of pictures from my dad's little foray in the 'Nam. And while that album is just as awesome, it is not one bit geeky (unless you count the shots of my incredibly skinny father in combat gear with ginormous nerd glasses on), so let's just focus on the Return of the Jedi portfolio.

It had never occurred to me before the moment that I saw this item again, but Ralph McQuarrie is obviously the artist who did the iconic movie poster mash-ups for the original movies. For some reason I had never put that together before. He designed so much of the films and I had no idea. From what I've gathered, he designed C-3PO and R2-D2. He suggested the breathing apparatus for Darth Vader. Not to mention all of the other things he designed. And I don't remember ever looking at the prints before either, so when I started to pull the pristine sheets of paper out with all of this new knowledge, magic ensued.

Pizza delivery for a Mr. Jabba the Hut?

I about peed myself when I saw this one. 

Almost peed myself yet again.

These were my favorites. I also enjoyed the picture of Sy Snootles and Droopy McCool, and if you think I'm making these names up and they can't possibly be Star Wars names, look them up. And you'll know exactly who they are if you've seen Return of the Jedi. In fact, go to this Wikipedia article, because the exact art drawing that's pictured at the top is the one that's in this portfolio. I'm just too lazy to take a crooked picture for you and post it. 

Nevertheless, as I was leaving mom's, she bestowed these prints to my care forever and always. All is well in my geek world. 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

I Do Not Want to Hear Your Opinion

I know I've said this sometime before, and I think I need to print it on t-shirts and bumper stickers or something: Say what you want about me, but leave my gadgets out of it.

I realized just how true this is of myself the other day when I was at the mall with a friend. There are a ton of malls around here, but the super high-end one has an Apple store in it. Surprise surprise. It also has all these ridiculous stores like Juicy Couture and Tiffany & Co., and you get treated to about six judgmental stares per square foot of mall space. It makes sense, I've done the equations. 

And then there's the Apple store. A happy place of laughter and rainbows. Where it's always 15 degrees hotter than out in the mall. Or maybe you're just sweating with anticipation. But you don't care. You're treading on holy ground. You should have to leave your shoes outside and go in barefoot.

Aaaanyway. My friend and I walk in so I can show him the MacBook Pro I'm considering once the new OS drops. Naturally the new retina display Macbook Pro is on the first table. I cavort over to it and move the mouse pointer around on the screen and gaze up at my friend, who is standing a little behind me with his hands in his pockets. "Isn't it just beautiful," I swoon, wondering if the screen would taste good if I licked it. 

And he peers at it for a moment, shrugs, and says, "It's not that impressive, really."

Suddenly there's this churning rage in my middle. I turn on him, incredulous, "Are you nuts? Look at it! It's so crisp and the colors are so bold and--"

"It's not mind-blowing or anything. My VAIO is HD and probably looks better."

My fists are clenching and unclenching at this point. "THIS IS THE HIGHEST RESOLUTION LAPTOP ON EARTH YOU FOOL."

"Just doesn't seem that great to me. I'd pay $600 tops for this."

I storm off at this point, livid for no reason whatsoever. Literally no reason. You are entitled to your opinion. That's perfectly fine. But your opinion enrages me. I do not want to hear your opinion.  I feel like I can very logically argue the case of Mac vs PC. I have owned and used PCs for 90% of my life. But then things changed. I could afford Macs. And I bought them. I bought all of them. And I am never, ever going back. It's so much more than the gadget. It's the stuff it's packaged in. Remember when I opened my new iPad? It's an experience in itself. Apple knows this. Nothing is shoddy with them. They don't cut corners. Their products aren't littered with garbage programs (like the 6000 apps that come on Android phones, most of which are complete shit) and error messages. Some people whine that they hate it because it's not open-source. Or that it's too expensive. Some people could care less about the whole experience and just want a decent, cheap computer. Well that's fine, you can think that way. 

But I don't want to hear it. I am fully aware of my fangirl geekdom. I will not speak to you for hours. I will hold a grudge for days, depending on the offense. In fact, this is literally the single quickest way to piss me off. I know it's irrational and childish. But I can't help it. In fact I think the worst kind of people who blast Apple products are the ones who have never used them, or used them once 18 years ago and that was the day they found out their wife wanted a divorce, so all Apple products suck. This is why I feel perfectly justified when I blast PCs, because I've used them since I was taught the alphabet on a keyboard. I'd say it would be the same for Apple fanboys who have never used PCs, but I'm fairly certain everyone has used a PC. You can't go through school without using one, because Windows 95 machines were the only thing available in the stupid computer lab and that's where you played games on Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, which you excelled at, and all the other kids were like "What the hell is a semicolon and why must I type it?"

So now that I'm done ranting, I'll probably be making something stupid soon with my new life motto on it. I'm considering a coffee mug.